It is time to note that the Cardinals are the current employers of a young gentleman who glories in the name of Lars Nootbaar. I have been watching Lars (who I can only imagine has been nicknamed “Nooty” by his teammates in this, the Age of the Insufficient Nickname), for three days now, and while his performance has been unspectacular (1 for 11 with a double and a walk), his impact on me has been electrifying. I haven’t been able to stop saying NOOTBAAR in my head, and also out loud, for three days, and I don’t expect tomorrow to be different. Speaking as a person with a name which is somehow both boring and difficult to say, I have really been enjoying how “NOOOOOOTbaar!!!” just rolls off the tongue. It makes me think of IKEA furniture and sugary granola bars, both of which I really like. Most astonishingly and delightfully, I found out while doing some research at home, that Lars Nootbaar – LARS NOOTBAAR – played in the 2023 World Baseball Classic for Japan. His full name, it turns out, is Lars Taylor-Tatsuji Nootbaar. For me, Lars Nootbaar has to be in the conversation with Coco Crisp, Phenomenal Smith, John Wockenfuss, Tim Spooneybarger, Quinton McCracken and Wonderful Terrific Monds III.

Alice and I take a walk in the middle of the game, to visit some of her students from St. Mary’s College and then to see Ken at the Gotham Club entrance. We are unsuccessful in both goals – her students aren’t in their seats and Ken texts me about ten seconds before we arrive to say he is going to lunch. Still, it’s a nice walk, in spite of how much colder it is down near the 415 than in my seats. On the way back, though, as we pass 152 on the way to Ghirardelli for hot chocolates, I take notice of a young couple who are just absolutely going at it three seats down from mine; when we get back with our hot chocolates, they are still making out like they were in the back of a limo on prom night. One girl, like Snoopy on the edge of his doghouse when he’s being a vulture, is hunched over the other and devouring her face so hungrily that if I saw the scene in a movie I would assume it was a zombie attack, especially since the other girl is absolutely limp – arms hanging loose, face aimed straight up and so passive that she looks like she’s been bespelled by a vampire. It goes on for two full innings before they wipe off their faces and stagger off. Later on, I pass them going at it again on my way to the bathroom, and I can’t help but laugh and remember the first time I had unlimited kissing access to a girl’s mouth. I hope they enjoyed the game as much as we enjoyed laughing about them.

So I forgot to take a picture of me and Alice, although in my defense i did think of it at an appropriate time and just didn’t follow through. Instead, we spent the whole time talking. Alice made it to the game after a field trip to a shell ridge, and we cover students, office disciplinary issues, poly relationships, ethics, and how she knows a guy who is part of the team working on the new park across McCovey Cove, part of which will be made of “big-ass foam blocks.”

Alice is enough fun to talk to that I forget to make notes about what I want to write when I get home, so I end up with only ‘Healdsburg Greyhound band!’ (who performed the national anthem) and ‘individual voices in crowd.’ Of these two, the only one about which I have anything useful to say is the Healdsburg High School band, which is one of only two musical acts who have ever acceded to my requests to play “Louie Louie,” which requests I have made at every show I have attended since about 1986. Acts who have not played “Louie Louie” for me include the Pogues, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Lawsuit, Simple Minds, Ben Folds, Lyle Lovett, Moxy Fruvous, the Waterboys, Bob Mould, and four separate instances of U2. The Healdsburg Greyhounds band and Throwing Muses stand alone, although the Greyhounds did it at a high school football game about thirty years ago and I doubt any of the members are still the same.

• 1 October: Farewells and Almosts
• 30 September: For the Love of God, Max Muncy
• 29 September: Flower Mary Child Lavender Blossom
• 27 September: Junk Time
• 26 September: Mathematically